We should ban life jackets and other flotation devices. They only encourage risky behavior. The only 100% effective way to prevent drowning is total abstinence from going in the water.

And if you do, by chance, find yourself struggling with drowning, then no life-saving or otherwise procedure or act should be allowed to be administered. You got yourself into this mess, you have to live with the consequences.

You should see drowning as a gift.

You, there with the sunglasses! You’re just asking for it.

Also, if you were forcibly pushed into the water, don’t worry. If it was a legitimate pushing, your body will find a way to shut out all the water and survive the drowning.

dirkinabox:

Do you ever see a post on your dash and literally say “shut up” out loud

dalestuckies:

i hate seeing people my age who’ve got their life together already like what the fuck

burghers:

wartortles:

what the fuck is eurovision

vinoxe:

egberts:

IS SOMETHING HAPPENING IN EUROPE?

nah

turtwink:

all this weight ive gained is going to my breasts looks like im going to need a  

poopflow:

cause of death: second hand embarrassment